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Lightcliffe "B" Snooker Team 2005 / 2006 Season

 

Snooker Fixtures 2005 / 2006

 

September 8th - Baliff Bridge V Lightcliffe B - Won 4-1

September 15th - Lightcliffe V Hove Edge - Lost 3-2

September 22nd - Rastrick Cons V Lightcliffe - Won 4-1

September 29th - Thornhill Briggs V Lightcliffe - Won 4-1 (TOP OF THE LEAGUE)

October 6th - Lightcliffe A V Lightcliffe - Won 4-1 ( TOP OF THE LEAGUE!)

VIEW RESULTS (right click - save target as)

 

Player Profiles

Nick Leeming - Leemo / Red Face/ Taggart / Grimmer /Chipper/ Boycey / Viking Driver// Frank Spencer/ Ex (repeat) Ex Captain!!

Probably the least gifted snooker player of the team - no potting ability whatsoever - is only able to beat old age pensioners or someone with a disability. Will only get a game if he picks himself - no one else will. Normally drunk when playing, which makes the task of winning a game even harder. Becoming increasingly accident prone - u name it he will break it - showers, boilers, cars.......

Best Snooker Attributes : Absolutely NONE

Simon Bancroft - Stretch, Styman, John Merrick

For this season Simon is sporting some carpet lifting trainers - this makes it very hard for opponents to beat him, as they spend most of the time tripping up over unsafe carpet squares around the table. He has also grown a huge Stye on his eye which will also put opponents off as they will not be able to look at him without being physically sick.

Best Snooker Attribute : NONE

James Titterington - Jimmy / Steptoe / The Doctor/ Chardonnay

Good all-round player - concentrates tremendously on each shot - looks a pillock when it doesn't come off! Crowd normally sing step-toe theme whilst he is playing. Normally turns up to snooker after consuming 4 bottles of Chardonnay - which actually does help his game.

Best Snooker Attribute : solid consistent potting - good safety play - always half cut when playing

Paul Bottomley - Botts / Porn Star / Dodgy Watch Seller / Mr Pizza

Great player - Can talk a seriously good game - but in practise can't play one - has been known to make calls to transco at late stages of his matches : Should spend more time at the snooker halls practising, rather than buying dogdy watches on e-bay.

Best Snooker Attribute : Power Potting

Jason Titterington - Jay / Slather / Fisherman/ Jersey Royal/

Great alround player - also has a bad collection of shoes - most of them turn up at the end (real shit flickers) - unable to keep mouth shut whilst playing a shot - looks like a salmon out of water. Due to huge amounts of alcohol intake he an extremely red face accompanied with a huge head resembling a Jersey Royal Potato... this should help put off opponents.

Best Snooker Attribute : Looks like a salmon taking breath, whilst potting : Quality Potter

Steven Titterington - Stevie / Jordie Boy/ Rat Boy

Always half pissed when playing his best. Unable to play at 1st or Second due to risk of DTs. I really hope our snooker team does not follow his football team this year - and win nothing.

Best Snooker Attribute : Winning whilst drinking.

Mark Bancroft - Squash / Banger / Cortez / The Champion (Brighouse Trophy)

Probably the most underated new talent in the team - has only played two games this season - and was extremely unlucky to play against ex-pros. Watch him come through the rankings.

Best Snooker Attributes : Turning Up

James Hart - Jimmy / Big Jim / Killer / Bo Selecta

A quality and loyal supporter of this dreadful snooker team. Can be heard most nights saying 'shot lad' in a rather piss-taking kind of manner - also a teriific wind up merchant, normally resulting in full on brawling at the snooker club. Unable to drink lager at club in case of serious 'ass-piss' on friday mornings.

Best Snooker Attributes : Swearing loudly, fighting and general abuse to other people.

Crag Laycock - Buffy / Buffler

A terrific supporter / drinker of the snooker team - makes the trip home and away unlike some other supporters. Has only played one game this year which was interupted by an emergency call to 'transco' - he then went on to loose the game.

Best Snooker Attribute : Again, NONE

Michael Vickers - Lizard, Fishman, Flick

Another quality player that should be playing more regularly in the team. Can normally be spotted out in the nightclubs of Nottingham - favourite saying : " Can I borrow a durex off you?"

Best Snooker Atribute : Thinks about every shot.

Chris Moley - Moley

A naturally gifted player who plays the speed of Alex Higgins! Great to watch when in-form. Sometimes has problems reaching the table due to increasing gut size - and is known to forget to bring his contact lenses!!!!!!!!

Best Snooker Attribute : Crisp potter.

Bobby from Bristol (unknown offensive nickname - coming soon though)

More suited to driving a combineharvester around and eating straw... getting used to the Yorkshire Beer quickly... Sport Billy, so should be on this team in no time!

Trip down memory lane - when were in the Premiership (lightcliffe whites + lgt shots)

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